Eyes on the Prize and Anywhere Else

Eyes on the Prize and Anywhere Else

Look at this television. Now stop looking. They hate it when you look too long. They hate it so much that Ray Bradbury wrote a book about it, but everybody was so busy staring blankly at their television sets that they didn’t understand quite what he was going on about. Even my television tells me to stop looking at it so much, but it cancels my favorite shows when I obey. I don’t know about all that. I’ll tell you what I do know: I know Comcast made nigh on 2 billion dollars in the first three months of 2014. They own just about everything my television says. It’s real kind of them to do that. They own the football, even have Carrie Underwood sing to me about it. They own the funny stuff. Law and Order, too. Hell, they own Brian Williams. That’s just about all I need.

Everybody’s got one. More than everybody. I saw that every house in the country has 2.73 television sets. I guess there's only 2.55 people in each of those houses. We can all rejoice, I suppose. We have a surplus of televisions in the world!

Oh, and I hear guns don’t kill people anymore; it’s the televisions. Those televisions are out to get us if what I saw on my television is to be believed. I guess they’re showing our youth how to kill people en masse and our kids are getting pretty good at it, too. Sheesh. Those darn kids. Those darn televisions. Why can’t they be more like us?

The British, they know about television. They have to the way they’re stuck out in the middle of the ocean like they are. Everybody on the whole island with a television has to fork up over 200 British-earned American dollars just to keep the British Broadcasting Network up and running. That’s pretty fantastic, if you ask me.