As I mentioned in class, I chose the theme 'Middle of the Night' for my segmented essay. I discovered that all of my stories seemed to have something to do with how crappy it is to deal with things in the middle of the night vs. in the middle of the day. Although I like certain aspects of the night, the quite stillness that can be so peaceful, or the beauty of the stars, I realized that I am not a night person. Oddly enough, I am not a morning person either. It seems as though most people are either 'morning people' or 'night owls', but I am more of a late morning to early evening kind of person. I would be perfectly content getting up around 9am and going to bed around 10pm. I would even like a nap thrown in there sometime in the early afternoon.
I think the reason I find even mildly annoying situations so hard to deal with in the middle of the night is because I am already annoyed that I'm not asleep. It's not that I don't enjoy being awake, because I do, but I think somehow sleep has become my coping mechanism. When I'm in pain, I take a nap; when I'm sad, I take a nap; when I am so overwhelmed by all the things I need to do, I go to bed. At some point in my life, I unconsciously decided that sleep equals escape, and now I don't know how to undo that mental path. When I am confronted with stress, anxiety, pain, or pretty much any negative emotion, I get sleepy. I obviously can not always actually go to sleep, but my brain automatically starts the process whether I want it to or not. The result is that I spend the vast majority of my day in a drowsy daze, so by night I am exhausted, which makes everything harder to deal with.
Sorry about the rant. This was not at all the direction I had anticipated this going.
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