Dear Dad

Dear dad,

          
All I wanted was for you to tell me you loved me that night. Standing by your car in the pouring rain, tears running down my face, I needed to feel that you loved me. But you never told me and I never felt it. There were so many things I wanted to tell you that night. Things I had kept hidden for years until I felt like I would explode. I wanted to tell you how sorry I was that I reminded you of mom. That I was sorry for being the reason you two got married. I was sorry that I wasn't the perfect daughter that you wanted; that I didn't follow you blindly like the other three. I wanted to tell you how I never stopped needing you; wanting you in my life. I never meant to keep you out of my life. I just never believed that you wanted to be part of it. I was sorry that I was headstrong, outspoken, and stubborn. Buy you know dad, I got that from you. You say that I am just like mom but I am just like you. Vulnerable and scared that I will do the wrong thing. I always believed in you, dad. You just didn't believe in yourself. No matter how hurtful your words or how painful your blows were, I never stopped loving you. I know you’re sorry too. I only wish you would tell me you are. I know your pride will never let you utter the words I need to hear from you. I am sorry, dad. Sorry for being the daughter you didn't know how to handle. I forgive you too. For not being the dad I needed. I hope one day we can fix what the years have torn apart. I will always love you.

Ashley