With a Little Help from my Kids

I figured I would go ahead and post the thing I mentioned today in salon. 

I was having writer's block, so my kids helped me write a thing. I added the swears myself, I'll have you know. 

As a side note: if you are writing depress-y stuff that is super reflective and weird and you have access to children to help you write something silly, I highly recommend it. 

 

There was a walrus.

Except it was an otter.

It swam            smmooooooottttthhhhly across the rocks

Brynn saw it. She screamed. 

The water tripped over the large boulders.

The otter didn’t give a shit.

We searched for him. He was gone. Where did he go? Mike asked. I drank my beer.

Then we fished. It was hot. There were noises. I ignored them. There was also sunshine. Sand was under my ass. Mike said he shot an elk over there. Ooooookkkkkkaaaaay. Prove it. No. whatever.

We went up up up up up up the stairs. 

The dogs went up up up up up up the stairs also. 

We got to the top. There were trees. Also a creek. The creek babbled and wound its way to the pond. The pond was dirty and gross. Probably a kid pooped in there in the past. So there’s shit at the bottom of the pond. It’s a shit pond. A shitty shitty pond full of kid shit? Also probably deers made poops in there, too. 

The grass was so fricken green, oh my god. Those damned pine trees drop their damned poopy brown pine cones (THWUNK--don't let em catch you off guard if you're walkin around at night!) and papa hates them cuz they are EVERYFUCKINGWHERE. Pick em up! Whatcha doin boy? Pick em up!